• Alicia Dunlap

The Marriage Blog That Almost Never Happened

Updated: Jan 10, 2019


An apple tree and picnic basket

Alicia

This blog almost didn’t happen. We almost quit before we even started because we did the very thing that we are trying to help others avoid; we miscommunicated.


It all started in the kitchen. We were discussing the logistics of This Is Knot Love; budget for equipment, scheduling for posts and blogs, things like that. The conversation grew heated after Ryan commented that something I said was "too corporate." Because I felt that what I contributed was as good as it was going to get, I suggested that he come up with something better. One criticism led to another, feelings escalated and at the end of it all, we both said "forget it" and decided that it would be best to not even move forward with the blog. We didn't mean it, our hearts weren't in the words that we spoke, but our efforts were.

For two people who are so gung-ho about improving communication, boy do we have our moments of exhaustive conversations that always seem to end up in no man’s land. Like the kind of conversations where we become so frustrated that Ryan is palming his face and rubbing his head, and I’m ready to check out and crawl under the covers. The kind of conversations that cause you to hope and pray that when you wake up the next day, that it won't feel like Groundhog's Day; a repeat of the day before.


“How did we get here? We’re better than this. This shouldn’t be that hard to talk through!”


What is so frustrating is that we both deeply desire and expect to be able to have healthy conversations that don't end with one of us being misunderstood. We'd love to just be heard and be on one accord all the time, but that isn't always going to happen. We are not perfect communicators, but we are healthy communicators which is what we try to model for everyone that we touch and influence. We can have disagreements, but it's how we navigate those disagreements that will ultimately determine whether or not our marriage remains intact. In the end, Ryan and I always seek to find a resolve that we both can walk through together, not separately.


Married couple smiling together

The Bible Says That We Will Be Known By Our Fruit.


If your marriage was a tree, would you plant your seeds in your children? Would you give your fruit to your friends or to strangers who needed it for their own matrimonial survival? Ultimately, we - The Dunlap's - will be known by the fruit that our marriage produces. Jesus is our vine, we are his branches, these stories are our fruit.


So were are doing it! We are doing this, together! We've seen the fruit of a 17 year friendship and a 13 year marriage, tied to Jesus and to one another. We are ready to offer that fruit to you!


So please make sure that you join our Knotty Family by subscribing to our blog and following us on social media! We aren't sure exactly how this will all turn out. All we can promise you is that we will remain transparent and as open as possible as we share our stories!

About The Authors:

A couple enjoying coffee in the mountains of Bali, Indonesia

We are Ryan and Alicia Dunlap, marriage coaches and the the founders of ThisIsKnotLove.com. Like a knot, we believe there are two types of marriages; those which are miserable, tangled messes and those which are intentionally fashioned together to join two separate things together as one. We work to remove the bad knots that cause marriages to unravel, and fashion secure knots that hold marriages together. We're just here to help you get the kinks out! #TIKL #KnottyLove

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